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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, affixed to your wall? Art.What do you call a man with in the middle of the ocean, with no life jacket? Bob.What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in a pile of leaves? Rustle.What do you call a woman with a cheesy pelvic discharge? Candida.How does a dog, with a cleft palate, let you know that the mailman is here? He goes, “Mark! Mark! Mark!”So, this guy goes to the talent agent, looking for his big break. He takes his dog, introducing him as a dog who can talk.The agent is skeptical, and wants to see the duo in action.The guy asks the dog, “What’s on the outside of a tree?”The dog answers, “Bark!”“What’s on top of a house”The dog responds, “Roof!”Again, “Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”The dog considers this, and replies, “Ruth!”The agent has had enough, and chases them both into the street, shouting, “You charlatans! Fakers! Such bullshit! Don’t come back!”The guy seats himself on a bench, disappointed. The. By the time the credits were showing, it was obvious to me that Jim wasn't been paying attention to the movie at all. I zipped him up, and when he got up, he looked like one of those guys in the Cialis commercials! More than one woman noticed Jim's condition, and I saw one actually wink at him.I relieved Jim's torment in the car in the parking lot, and it didn't take long for him to get off.After the movie, we went to bed, and we shared one of our slow, relaxing sessions of making love. He got me off a few times, and I think I fell asleep after he came, because I don't remember twisting over to clean him up--a duty that I once would have never considered, but something that I considered a special treat with Jim.The next morning, I woke up, completely relaxed. I went to the bathroom and once again stared at myself in the mirror. Did I truly deserve somebody as wonderful and attentive as Jim? I know I was lucky that he loved me, but I still had some doubts that I was worthy of him..
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